I Am No Object

Top: Missguided | Shirt: M&S | Jeans: Zara | Boots: Public Desire

Women are often objectified by their looks and we find that our firm and focused approach to our goals have gone quite unnoticed as it all comes down to our physical appearance for the most part. Even if we are respected for what we bring to the table, it is due to the extra length we've gone in most situations, to be considered assets. But why do we think this happens? This is because stereotypically women are belittled in positions of power and decision making.

For a long time, we have been told in various manners that we are accessories to men, as we are supposed to just be seen and not heard. Why aren't we considered assets? Why not be heard when we have a voice worth listening to and investing in. When we have a gold mine of a mind and an abundance of skills. Ever heard of the Stepford wives? It is a 1972 satirical novel written by Ira Levin, portraying issues about gender. A Stepford wife is one who is obedient, perfect and robot-like. She is a woman who is overly subservient to her husband and meets his every need perfectly. This is how women have been viewed for a long time. As people whose places are supposedly only in the kitchen. Arguably, we are perceived to be threats by daring to defend our beliefs and in turn, this makes people insecure and uncomfortable. I watched a Ted talk by Luvvie Ajayi on the topic of getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. This mindset needs to be adopted because we wouldn't move forward in this life if we continue to walk on eggshells in hopes of not overstepping our boundaries, so to speak. It has never been, and will never be, a duty of another human being to make the next person feel comfortable within themselves, that is a personal mission. In 2018, a Nigerian lawmaker is of the opinion that women shouldn’t be given too many opportunities because they will overthrow men. “If a woman challenges you, Mr Speaker, all women will say lets vote for our sister…”. There is no need for a power struggle, we can co-exist, women just need the opportunity to aim higher for themselves and see their visions actualise.

I came across a spoken words poem called “Trigger” by Porsha Olayiwola and she touches on how we are viewed in society as subordinates. Here are my favourite lines:

“I’ve heard I wasn’t ever supposed to be heard”

“I was born a pussy and pussies were never meant to speak but purr”

“I’ve heard my voice sound like children trying to play grown-up”

“I’ve heard my voice sound like women trying to play grown-up”

“It sound like I’m bitching”

“It sound like I’m a woman in the world who’s lost her place and wound up outside the kitchen”

“You supposed to listen”

“You supposed to be seen. You ain't supposed to be heard”

“I sound too stupid, too black, too woman”

“My mouth is meant to blow you away”

“This is no dead fuse, this is no silence. I am not mute”

“I don't give a flying fuckery about your comfort level”

“You will not chop off my tongue”

“You will not change me”

“You will not claim me”​.

We have fallen prey to men as statistics show that in the UK, one in five women have been sexually assaulted in the past year since the age of sixteen. Now, women are finally getting their voices back with the MeToo movement. By holding ourselves in such high regard, we are teaching the world how to treat us. We do not consider ourselves just bodies thus nobody else should dare to.